as of noon tomorrow, my car will be no more. It was a 1990 Chevrolet Cavalier, and now it is but landfill. To any out there in possession of a thin kazoo, please ring out the retire in a thin whine in respect to the passing of my baby. She was just past her seventeenth birthday, and died of transmission trouble. It was a congenital affliction, and I am happy she held out this long.
Hereupon the streets of this city, I commit my darling to the tow truck. May General Motors smile upon her in the great beyond, for she was far more reliable than any other woman under the sun.
I loathe all sentiment, but some things have to be honored. If you disagree, remember that tools were the avenue that brought men to where he is today. A lesson from my father, that a man without respect for his tools is a man who does not respect civilization, or his role in molding it.