The rotting stump stage of what’s killing Hollywood

It was a joke in the nineties. It’s a cliche through most of the Bush Administration. Now it’s an accepted reality: Hollywood is truly out of ideas. After losing all taste for paying writers, they’ve resorted over the years to a string of media pillaging that has led to the Harry Potter and now Twilight franchises. Books are now selected for publication based off of their cross-platform marketability, as we all know Americans read even less often and intelligently than they vote.

Still, I want a fucking explanation for this.

With a movie version of Missile Command essentially set up at Fox and an adaptation of Asteroids in development at Universal, it was only a matter of time before a studio decided to take on the grandfather of all video games, Space Invaders.~source

Alright, to be honest I have the explanation. It works like this: the first week a movie is out, due to structured arrangement with the movie’s production company, most of the money goes to the producers. So even the largest, most soul-destroying piece of drecht imaginable will go into production, as it will guarantee at least a ROI (return of investment) via the old and faithful morbid curiosity incentive that drove so many of us to watch Yoda fence with Christopher Lee during a certain feature-length toy commercial I could mention.

Yes, by the way, you read that right: production companies are also producing a version of Missile Command and Asteroids. When this industry’s bubble finally bursts, we’ll have plenty of video evidence when they come calling for a handout.


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