Why I Hate Dogs: The Short Version

I was woken by the sound of a woman screaming in terror this morning. A dog broke free in my neighborhood and attacked her. She had a bigger dog with her, which is likely why she suffered no injury.

I hate dogs. I dislike pet ownership as a human tendency. It says very bad things about us. That we idolize dogs of all creatures outright repulses me. They’re creatures without dignity or intelligence, regardless of what training is bred into them. They are base, disgusting, subservient killers. The moment you let one off the leash, he goes mad. The moment he’s anything less than absolutely maintained, mollified, cajoled or withheld, he reverts to the primeval shit that he came from.
Humans can be erratic in that way. They develop strange spurts of conscience and decency and regret. Dogs don’t. Dogs are mankind’s ideal servant, a subservient killer composed of irritability, hunger and bloodlust.

Then there’s the little ones, which are just stuffed animals filled with meat. Let’s be clear, folks. Between our love of four-legged killers and the eugenic breeding of living, breathing toys, dogs show off our ideal state for a companion.

And that is why I fucking hate dogs.


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